Technology

Why don’t men ask for directions?

A lament so common that it is the subject of jokes and television sitcoms is the unwillingness of lost men to ask for directions. Almost every woman has a story about a man who drove for hours looking for a place and refused his pleas to stop and ask someone for directions. For women, this looks like the latest display of male arrogance and stubbornness. But what if it isn’t?

It is important to understand that men are NEVER “lost”. For him, that implies a helplessness that he will never willingly experience. He just hasn’t gotten there yet and has full faith in his ability to do it.

Also, a man’s unwillingness to stop and ask for directions is consistent with his survival instincts, and he’s not really stubborn at all. First, stopping the car and rolling down the window makes him (and you) more vulnerable than he’s willing to be just to get somewhere faster.

Second, from a man’s point of view, by the time he asks a gas station attendant for directions, or someone on the street, he has put his life and yours in the hands of a stranger! Men wisely only place their lives in the hands of people who have proven to be trustworthy. The way he sees it, it’s better for both of them to find their location on their own than to be at the mercy of the judgment of someone he doesn’t know or trust.

Why has he never told you this? According to our research, this is because, to him, it’s obvious. Everyone already knows this and something that everyone already knows requires no explanation. It’s a mystery to him why you seem to have forgotten this basic rule of survival.

On the other hand, maps are the beginning and end of travel. With a map, a man can make a sound decision based on reliable information. And the systems available on many new car models, with built-in maps and global positioning satellites, are the ultimate tool for navigating a dangerous world.

If your car doesn’t have one of these fancy new gizmos, the best thing to do is stock up on maps at the Auto Club or buy a Thomas Guide. Keep your supply of maps in your car (or travel bag) and learn to read them. It’s important to suggest a route coming from being a member of the travel team, rather than justly showing you’re incompetent.

A woman who understands, and even likes, reading maps becomes a highly valued traveling companion. To quote the men, a woman who reads maps happily “becomes useful on the hunt” and is “impressive” and “almost perfect.” Instead of being frustrated and ignored while she tries to find a place, if she consults a map, she will find a man more than willing to follow her instructions.

A side note: there’s another unknown landscape where a man won’t ask for directions but will surely appreciate: your body. A panel of men at Celebrating Men & Sex were asked, “What do you think about a woman giving you directions in bed?” A man laid out the case for everyone. He replied: “Directions, maps, diagrams – any useful information is appreciated!”

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