Breaking news: another woman falls prey to naturally induced concussion (PENIS) penis enlargement
Kathy – “Good evening. I’m Kathy Cupcake from WPNS with this breaking news. In another Penis Enlargement Gone Wild case, another woman has been the victim of an oversized penis size. Peter Sizemore is now, live, on the scene , to give us the shocking details. To you, Peter: “
Fart – “Thanks Kathy. Folks, it’s another case of Naturally Induced Penis Enlargement Shock (PENIS), I’m afraid. It’s the same old story: girl meets boy, boy meets girl, they go out a couple of times and eventually the boss to the bedroom. Unfortunately, this is another case where a man, who has enlarged his penis to massive proportions, has not told his girlfriend what to expect and the results are clearly devastating. She was the latest victim in the endless stream of PENIS cases that have taken the country by storm. Ever since penis enlargement has become such a huge fad we … Wait! Wait, here comes the poor woman now, they carry her on a stretcher with oxygen!
Fart – “Suzy! Excuse me! Suzy, Suzy Wantall … I’m Peter Sizemore from WPNS, do you mind if I ask you some questions for the audience at home? Can you tell us what happened … describe the events that took place? …? How are you feeling? Are you okay? “
Suzy “Yeah well I’m still groggy and still a bit shocked. Just look at my hands, they’re still shaking. You know, Richard seemed like a normal and average guy, you know what I mean, he just seemed such a nice guy … I never expected it to be that, you know … Big, I mean really big like this … I mean it was huge … Scary huge … And I have to admit … I just wasn’t ready for that. You know, just he wasn’t ready … When he unbuttoned his pants, it was like this giant anaconda was being released into the room … When he released that huge thing … I … I … I … just wasn’t there ready for that, I mean, I didn’t know what to do and, you know, I’m terrified of snakes; and I started to feel dizzy and I felt like this cloud was going to my head, I started to feel dizzy, and then, you know , that’s all I remember, I guess I passed out … “
Fart – “We’re sorry to hear that Suzy, we really are. Is there anything else you can add to what happened?”
Suzy – “Well yeah, you know, girls, you have to be careful out there. I’m serious. If you can, ask and find out if a guy has been doing those penis exercises or not, because, you know, chances are. that if you’re not prepared for what you’re going to see … Well, you’re going to … You’re going to end up like me … “
Fart – “Thanks Suzy, one more question, if you don’t mind: What happened to this guy, what did you say his name was, Richard?”
Suzy “Yes, Richard. I’m not sure what happened to him, you know. I thought I heard someone say that my father found him and was chasing him like he was going to kill him. Right now … I don’t know where he is, but really I fear for his life. “
Fart – “Are you going to press PENIS charges against him?”
Suzy – “Oh Peter, oh no, oh no! I hope you press them against me! I’m dying to see him again, in fact, I can’t wait to see him again. Initial surprise of everything, I definitely want to hook up with him again. him; you know, I hope my dad understands … Wait, wait … Wait a minute … Wait … Becky …? Becky, is that you … Richard? Where are you going! There she is with my sister! Wait! Wait! Don’t go! She’s stealing my boyfriend!
Fart – “Ahem! There you have it, friends, another case of PENIS. Parents, warn your daughters about the dangers of PENIS and help them know the warning signs of a man who has grown to such enormous proportions.”
Fart – “Back to you, Kathy!”
Kathy – “Thank you Peter. That was Peter Sizemore live from the site where another PENIS incident took place. Right now, I have a person who is involved in the Penis Enlargement process and I am going to ask him some questions. anonymity, his name has been changed, his voice has been altered and his video will be optically censored. We will call him Dr. XXX. “
Kathy – “Thank you for joining us, Dr. XXX. Since you are involved in the penis enlargement process, what do you have to say about the events that took place this afternoon?”
Dr. XXX – “Thanks Kathy. Well that’s how I see it: guns don’t kill people, people kill people. If a guy gets bigger and doesn’t tell his girlfriend, well that’s his decision. I am involved in the process, it does not mean that I am responsible. “
Kathy – “But surely, you must feel some responsibility for what has been happening.”
Dr. XXX – “Once again, people kill people, not guns. Now, I do not condone this kind of behavior, but it is a free country. You see, these guys who really get big are making a game with all this, this the whole Shock The Woman game. I don’t think it’s right for them, but, like I said, it’s a free country. I don’t like it, but that’s their decision based on their own will.
Kathy – “Did you see the president’s speech last night about PENIS and he said that Obamacare is NOT Will you cover PENIS victims? “
Dr. XXX – “Yes, I saw it, but again, don’t blame me for that. You must realize that our representatives still have some incredible health care that is not part of Obamacare, for which we taxpayers have to fork out the money. So all of them and their families is it so covered for PENIS, only the rest of us are not covered. If you have a problem with that, discuss it with them, don’t blame me. “
Kathy – “Can you explain how penile exercise works to help men achieve these huge sizes?”
Dr. XXX – “Certainly, Kathy, I would love to. Exercising with the penis is a simple method of ‘exercising’ the penis. However, it is not ‘exercising’ in the way that most people think of ‘exercising’, anymore “There are not many muscles in the penis. Instead, these workouts target the rest of the penis tissues by manipulating them to increase the size of the penis.”
Kathy – What do you mean by ‘manipulation’, it sounds like an intimidating word. “
Dr. XXX – “Not at all, Kathy, at all … ‘Manipulation’ simply refers to what you are doing to the penis at the time of exercise. It simply means that you twist, squeeze, stretch, pull and other methods with your bare hands. By physically targeting the tissues of the penis, this “manipulation” can cause the penis to grow larger than it once was.The two most basic methods use stretching to release and increase the length of the ligaments that attach the penis to the penis. This lengthens the penis. The other method is what is called “milking.” And this does exactly what it sounds like: the penis is ‘milked’ to stimulate more blood into the penis. Doing this method correctly allows the penis to retain more blood and therefore grow more. Everything is really very simple and easy. “
Kathy – “Thank you, Dr. XXX. Parents, remember to teach your daughters about the dangers of PENIS and help them know the warning signs of a man who is more likely to be the culprit of PENIS.”
Dr. XXX – “Thank you Kathy, it was a pleasure.”
Kathy – “Good night.”