Part One of a Guide to Becoming More Confident: Self-Acceptance
Don’t dance around the perimeter of the person you want to be. Intervene fully and completely. ~ Gabby Bernstein ~
Many of us experience periods in our lives when we do not embody the confidence necessary to pursue our dreams and goals. The complexity of our lives and the demands on our time, energy, and attention often make each of us juggle so many tasks and responsibilities that we rarely take the time to think about how we can increase our self-confidence. Trust is not everything, however, we will not achieve much of what we wish to experience without it.
When we lack confidence in ourselves, we are more likely to succumb to our fears and doubts when it comes to seeking new possibilities in our lives. We wonder if we have what it takes to do what it takes to achieve our desired goals. We are more susceptible to negative opinions from others when they speak out against what we want to achieve. We allow our limiting beliefs about our circumstances to limit us to the status quo. We sabotage our progress because we lack a strong sense of self-worth. Confident people realize the story they tell themselves about who they can become, what they can do, what they are strong enough to handle, and what they deserve to experience that shapes their identity. They are confident because of a strong sense of self that is nurtured by an empowering identity of who they are and who they believe they can become.
Developing a secure identity is not about your race, gender, circumstances, or background; it’s about the beliefs that make up the story you tell about yourself and the courage you show to seek new possibilities in your life. In this three-part series, A Guide to Becoming More Confident, I’ll share ideas and strategies that can help you become a more confident person.
Develop a safe perspective
Confident people think and approach life proactively, which means that you may need to make some fundamental changes to the story you tell yourself about what you are capable of and become comfortable with the temporary discomfort that ensues. as you take steps to seek new possibilities in your life. See your self-confidence as an important key to opening the doors of how you want to live, today and in the future. Every time you challenge a limiting belief about what is possible in your life with a renewed sense of your strength and who you can become, you will begin to embody a greater sense of confidence that will have a ripple effect in every area of your life. Your life. In the first part of this series, I discuss the role that self-acceptance plays in your ability to become a more confident person.
Tip No. # 1 to build confidence: Self-acceptance is a fundamental pillar to live with more confidence. It involves having realistic expectations of yourself and life. Self-acceptance allows you to recognize your strengths and weaknesses. It allows you to walk with a loving awareness of your humanity, its goodness and its flaws. Self-acceptance allows you to embody your strengths to lead a life consistent with your core beliefs, values, and priorities. Recognize that you do not have to be an exact copy of someone else to live a safe and successful lifestyle. Self-acceptance requires an awareness of your strengths and weaknesses, your goodness and your shortcomings. It empowers you to have a strong sense of who you are, who you can become, what you can do, what you are strong enough to handle and worth experiencing.
Self-acceptance inspires you with the desire to be a full expression of your authentic self. Self-acceptance doesn’t happen when you hate the person that you are. It happens when you love yourself enough to believe that you can do better and deserve better. Loving and accepting yourself naturally leads to increased self-confidence.
Believe that you are worthy to have a better experience in life
Pat Pearson, author of STOP self-sabotage notes: “We don’t allow ourselves to have what we want until we believe, really believe, that we deserve it.” Getting out of your own way and manifesting more of what you really want in life begins with the journey of accepting yourself while expanding your beliefs and feelings about your self-worth and what you deserve to experience in life. Your beliefs about what you are worth to experience in life influence how you treat yourself, determine the relationships you engage in, and how you value the time and vital energy spent to generate the money you earn. Your sense of worth shapes your career path and the goals you pursue and achieve in life. It even affects how strong you are when faced with setbacks and how quickly you get back to normal.
When you were a baby, you had no doubts about your right to be loved or hugged. You didn’t apologize for wanting what you wanted or feeling the way you did. As he got older, something started to happen. Pearson writes, “Our innate sense of being worthy of expressing our feelings and needs begins to wane as we mature. Instead of believing that we deserve love just for” being, “we lower our self-esteem and try to gain approval and love by “doing.” We begin to think that we must earn love, so we give up our real feelings to fulfill the approved image. As we age, we begin to shrink our beliefs about our own abilities. ” Somehow everyone else seems to be able to get what they want in life as you continue to surround the same circumstances and repeat the same patterns. Over time, these experiences began to lower her self-esteem and confidence.
Raise the level you deserve and stop self-sabotage
Be encouraged. You can raise your deserved level. Pearson writes, “To increase your level of worthiness, you must take ownership of your feelings as clearly and authentically as you can. When you integrate and honor both your thoughts and feelings, you have full permission to have what you want.” About yourself and what you deserve to experience in life are linked to your sense of self-worth.
What would you say was the level of worthiness expressed in your family growing up as a child? Was he allowed to express his feelings or was he asked to suppress them? Did you feel that you were loved no matter what with unconditional love? Now, did you feel like you had to “earn” the love of your parents, siblings, and extended family? What was the story you told about your sense of worth as a child? How does any part of that history repeat itself in your relationships, health and wellness, personal finances, education, and career? In which of these areas do you need to elevate your beliefs about what is worth experiencing to achieve your current aspirations? Confidence in what you believe about what you are worth experiencing in life begins with your beliefs about what you deserve. Transforming your limiting beliefs into empowering self-talk and aligning your behavior with the person you need to become in order to manifest the dreams and goals you want to experience is a sure sign that you believe you can do better and have better results in life.
Lessons from the Wizard of Oz
In the movie the Wizard of Oz, it takes a life and death challenge for each of the main characters to realize that the very thing they want from the Wizard already exists within their ability. The Scarecrow doesn’t think he’s smart enough to endure hardships, and yet he’s just the guy with the logic and reasoning that guides the group to make the right decisions. The Tin Man thinks he’s worthless because he was created without a deer, except that his compassion for others and his passion for not giving up is what keeps everyone going. The Cowardly Lion is ashamed that he lacks the courage that should accompany the “King of Beasts”, but when put to the test, he acts with courage in the face of fear. It is the Lion who steps forward with the real balls to confront and unmask the man behind the curtain who has assumed a role of power that he does not deserve. The lesson of the ruby slippers was that Dorothy struggled all the time to get home, thinking that only the wizard could help her, when in fact she had the power to do so all the time. His ability to comprehend the power of what he already possessed was obscured by his fear.
Ask yourself: How am I showing lack of self-acceptance towards myself? What is the dominant story that I am telling myself about what I am worth experiencing in life? What fears prevent me, like the main characters in the Wizard of Oz, from harnessing the strength I already possess? What are some small steps I can start to take that will help reduce the anxiety I feel about manifesting new possibilities in my life? Expressing your full potential will require accepting yourself.
Accepting who you are, while living to express more of your unique ability, is critical to becoming a more confident person. It requires you to value your current abilities so that you can use them to manifest new possibilities in your life. Recognizing the many influences that have shaped your beliefs about what you deserve and what is worth experiencing sheds light on the automatic response patterns that may be influencing self-sabotage. Self-acceptance is a key principle in maximizing your present moments. Optimizing your current opportunities to grow and develop your talents allows you to cultivate foresight to adopt growth strategies that increase your ability to be more, do more, and build your confidence.
Actionable step: Create a Trust Booster Jar / Box. Buy a glass jar or small gift box and label it “Confidence Booster.” Get a mailing package or cut blank sheets of paper. On each sheet of paper, write down the times you overcame an obstacle, bounced back from a setback, and accomplished something you were very proud of. For the next 30 days, read one of your notes out loud to yourself to affirm your ability and self-esteem and increase positive thoughts and emotions about yourself. Make it a daily ritual by placing more positive notes in your “Confidence Booster” bottle / box.
Share this idea with a family member and a friend. Perhaps you can write positive notes about each other and exchange them. Let this simple but powerful practice turn into something enjoyable you can do on a daily basis. Next week, in part two, I’ll share why and how strengthening your inner self is essential to developing and maintaining self-confidence. What are your thoughts on how confidence or lack of confidence has affected your success toward a goal? Share your thoughts below.