What To Do When You’re Afraid Of Bumping Into Your Ex – 3 Reasons Why You Should Tell Your Friends
Well-meaning friends often find every reason to get you out of the house during your recovery phase. You may reluctantly agree to go along with his plans and find yourself at a nightclub in an attempt to dance away your sadness. But who would expect you to now be afraid of tripping over it because it looks like the crowd might be there? You look around warily, unable to have a good time. What do you do for a living? Are you trying to fix it yourself for fear of spoiling your friends’ night of fun? Let me share with you 3 reasons why you should get their help.
There may be many reasons for your fear of seeing it. Sometimes I feel self-conscious, feeling like I don’t look absolutely fabulous because I wore my only clean, pressed outfit and it may not be the most flattering piece in my closet. Other times I just don’t feel ready to face him in a calm and collected way without bursting into tears or yelling at him in anger.
The best way to overcome the fear of something is to prepare. Those who are afraid of the dark prepare with flashlights. When you’re afraid to see your ex, you come up with a plan of action on what to do. Good friends will go out of their way to help you, offering support and encouragement during this difficult time. So get your friends who are with you to follow this plan or enlist their help in devising a strategy.
Reason #1: Your friends may be focused on having a good time and don’t know you can do it with more support.
The best person to take care of yourself is YOU. Don’t expect others to take care of your needs because overconfidence never leaves a good taste in your mouth. Even if your friends have your best intentions, they won’t be able to tell what you need 100% of the time. Being aware that you need support and asking for it is a powerful way to rebuild the connection with yourself. Let go of all fear that you will ruin their enjoyment because of your needs. Your friends are not mind readers and should not be treated as such. Be the one to express what you need from them and they will be more than willing to help you in any way.
Reason #2: Friends offer insightful advice and encouragement on overcoming your fear.
By viewing your situation as a third party, your friends often see how well you’ve been coping with the breakup and your efforts to rebuild your single life. They can offer a different perspective when you blame yourself for not looking or feeling more confident. In this way, you begin to see yourself in a more positive light and recognize how well you are doing. This builds your confidence to go out and face your demons if necessary. See yourself as your friends see you, as an amazing, wonderful, strong, resilient person who handles a breakup.
Reason #3: They will know how you want them to help you.
Different people handle situations differently. In the scenario of meeting him at the nightclub, three different people can react in three different ways. One may run away, another may stay to chat and catch up, the last may say a quick hello and leave confidently. The key is to decide which of the actions best suits your ability to handle the encounter. Then, decide if you would like your friend to be around for moral support, walk away, or prevent you from talking to him in the first place. Letting your friends know what to do prevents the situation where you blame them for doing something “wrong.”
In conclusion, it can be beneficial for friends who are with you to know about your fear. This gives them a chance to be good friends and help support you in the ways you need support. Being aware of your feelings and fears and asking for help when needed is important during this time of rebuilding the connection with yourself. They can offer insightful and more encouraging insights into how well you’re coping to make you feel more secure through the night. Lastly, letting them know what you would like them to do makes it easier for everyone to help you and prevents them from blaming you.