Why benign neglect is crucial for children
Have you ever heard of a saying that too much care can destroy? According to several behavioral researchers, too much care and attention can destroy children’s self-esteem and confidence. This post talks about a somewhat neglected concept, benign neglect, and how it makes a difference in children’s personalities.
What is Benign Negligence?
The Dictionary defines benign negligence as “A policy or attitude of ignoring a situation rather than taking responsibility for managing or improving it.” In other words, benign neglect is the way to deal with children’s problems without being in front of them all the time. Kids always get into trouble no matter how hard you try to keep them safe. Most parents try to point out everything their children do in hopes of correcting their mistakes. If you truly believe that by being there for your child in every little thing, you are helping them, then think again.
Why is benign neglect important to parenting? Good parenting involves equipping children with the tools to manage their daily activities and make their own decisions. Benign neglect allows you to make your children capable of dealing with problems on their own.
Why does that matter?
Social and behavioral skills are one of the most essential skills that not only help children navigate smoothly in school, but in life as well. Both sets of skills cannot be taught to children. Research shows that 18% of children who go to school face social problems in schools and on playgrounds. Many children find it difficult to mingle with other children when playing on the school playground equipment or any other play structure. Similarly, many children display misbehavior on the playground.
There are many things that we cannot teach our children. Children need to get their own way with daily activities so they can learn to deal with problems on their own. Think about it, if you’re there to take care of every little thing for your child, aren’t you taking away his ability to deal with problems on his own? For my part, I would like to see my son settle a fight and deal with things on his own without running to me every time he gets bullied on the playground.
You don’t necessarily have to attend to your child’s needs every time he throws a tantrum or gets into a fight with his sibling. Treat your children with mild neglect and see how they solve their problems on their own. Let kids find their own way out of a problem and only lend a hand when you feel like they can’t do it on their own. Benign neglect is a crucial element of parenting that allows you to help your children fend for themselves without tripping.
What kind of father are you? Do you practice benign neglect or do you prefer to be in your child’s face all the time? Share your opinion with us through our comments section below and help other parents overcome similar problems.