paul almighty
Think of FIFA 2010 and it becomes utterly impossible to recap the 2010 Soccer World Cup tournament without discussing or describing the explosion predictions made by slimy fortune teller Paul the Octopus. Octa-Paul sure won a million hearts as the FIFA matches played out, but even today, Paul is competitive enough to give all human fortune tellers a run for his money.
the talk of the town
Who doesn’t like being famous? After all, it is human nature to love and be loved. If you ask me, I wouldn’t mind being featured in an online encyclopedia and would love for everyone to recognize me for my craft. But not everyone who is good at their craft gets to that pedestal of recognition just like that. It takes a lot of hard work, meeting the right people at the right time, a leader with leadership qualities to look up to and follow, and a little luck can get you there.
Look at Paul today, with his 100% perfect prophecies, he has become a FIFA world cup sensation in a very short time…surely making everyone look up to him. But not a human soul can tell how a fish can make correct predictions without even knowing what a FIFA ball looks like. Incredible true! Well, actually, it’s the precise predictions made by this fish (named Paul) that baffle the world.
Paul put many scientists to work, who did a lot of research to understand why Paul was right with his predictions all along. Just to rationalize by saying that octopuses are generally attracted to horizontal lines and shapes, and that explains why Germany is favored over England and Argentina. But if we are to agree with this wisdom gleaned from the scientists, then we also need them to explain why Paul chose Serbia over Germany, and Spain over the Netherlands. Well, well, well, Paul seems to have baffled even scientists with this phenomenal phenomenon.
drooling over paul
Literally the teams eliminated by FIFA, including Germany, England and Argentina, whose disastrous fate Paul prophesied before their respective matches, are drooling over Paul’s boneless fish protein. Cooking Paul in ginger sauce would not only quench his appetite for boneless fish, but more importantly, get revenge on a mere marine animal that foretold his ugly fate.
Immediate action is needed to settle the dangers faced today by this endangered species with an innate ability to predict the future. The UK, where Paul currently lives, needs to transport Paul to a vegetarian land as soon as possible. Now that I think about it, India seems like an appropriate destination where the majority of the population is vegetarian. However, the Indians have fallen in love with Paul and want him to prophesy India’s inaugural participation in the FIFA World Cup. I’m optimistic that if the UK really decides to protect Paul by sending him to a safe place like India, India will prepare to welcome Paul back…by securing him an option of dual citizenship and also promising to provide him with all the perks and provisions an octopus would really need and want to show off.
Spain against Paul
I started writing this article with the clear intention of expressing my opinion about the extravagant and extraordinary 2010 FIFA World Cup and, more importantly, about the historic victory of first-time winners Spain. But I just realized that my article has veered towards showing the accurate predictions and popularity of FIFA 2010’s (by a few) cursed Nazi, Octopus Paul… Whew! Sorry to stray… I got carried away by Paul’s tentacle prophecies! In fact, Spain is the true winner of the FIFA world cup and Paul alone is not the reason for their victory, agrees Spain midfielder Andreas Iniesta, who tweeted: “Octopus is very popular in Spain.”
So it seems that Spain is happy to share the limelight with Paul and Paul is more than happy to be featured in print and electronic media around the world.
Well, all’s well that ends well. On that note, I conclude my column here. Long live Spanish… Long live Paul!