Adada Muhammadu needs some tips on lists

I am very sorry for Mr. Adada Muhammadu. A business owner, he is apparently suffering from a major tragedy in his home country of Nigeria and is looking for someone to protect the $30 million he has in his bank account.

Apparently, he recently inherited this amount from a wealthy relative and needs to get it out of his country as soon as possible. Naturally, he emailed me and asked if I could help him for a 10 percent fee. I’m thinking about it. It is a difficult decision.

I am a busy guy with a lot to do. I just don’t have time to email him my bank account information and Social Security number, let alone travel to Nigeria, as he asks, to finalize the arrangements. I’m supposed to take my daughter to a swim meet next week and I promised my wife she’d clean out the garage. Otherwise it would be fine to go.

I’m just not a good fit for him right now. I wish I hadn’t wasted his efforts on me. I guess my name was on the list he bought of smart, handsome men with attractive wives. I feel bad because he’s wasting his money on a list he bought that isn’t working. So next time, Mr. Muhammadu, if you buy another list, I have some practical tips for you that I’ve learned from other business owners who use lists effectively.

For starters, I know of a lot of good database companies that sell marketing lists. In fact, if you’d like some names, email me and I’ll be happy to share some with you. Don’t worry, Mr. Muhammadu. I disagree with those few critics who theorize that the information these companies have is “throwaway” and “out of date.” This may be true in some cases. But in all seriousness, I know there are a lot of good database companies that invest in quality research and put a lot of emphasis on the integrity of the data they sell.

Still, Mr. Muhammadu. You’ll need to be very careful when shopping for your next list. I got your email, but even with the best database companies, my experience is that at least 50 percent of the names and contact information on a typical list are bad. A list can cost around $1 per name, so if you’re going to spend $5,000-$10,000 (and many database companies have a minimum purchase in that range), you can expect thousands of return emails or letters. returned. The cost of this could significantly affect the $30 million he is trying to transfer.

Here’s something you might want to consider, Mr. Muhammadu: The US Postal Service offers something called the National Deliverability Index. An NDF score indicates how closely address records on a mailing list match the latest address data maintained by the Postal Service. Mailing lists are matched using automated address verification programs. A good database company will, if asked, reveal this index to you. It’s one way the Postal Service can help you and all your friends in Nigeria.

If you need to buy another list of Americans who are willing to give up their private financial information to help you with your $30 million transfer, try the World Wrestling Federation first: they may have a lot of good prospects for you. But make sure you get a sample first. Many listing companies will do this for you. They will send you 10 or 15 names for you to validate. Then, when you finally get your list, make sure it’s in a format that you can easily import into a database or program. Ask them to send you the list that is compatible with Microsoft Excel. Or in text format that can be imported. Once imported, you also need to make sure that you are doing the correct tracking.

Because that’s something I noticed you didn’t do very well, Mr. Muhammadu. Your follow up was pretty poor. I mean, I just got a lousy email from you. I realize I’m too busy right now, but a couple more emails or even a letter (especially when you write them so lovingly in all caps with those catchy misspellings) might have tempted me to pay more attention to your situation.

I’m not that crazy about the email either, Mr. Muhammadu. Many database companies lack good email information. And I’m not sure how many people opted in to receive your email, even as enticing as it seems to be. The last thing you want is for someone to report you to the Nigerian Federal Trade Commission or put you on some sort of blacklist.

So how would you transfer your $30 million out of the country? Think, Mr. Muhammadu. To think! Maybe in the future you can use this data for regular direct mail and telemarketing in addition to some emails.

Here’s an even better option: Instead of buying your list from a database company or the WWF, you may want to buy or rent from a magazine or trade publication. They are a bit more expensive and some of them are for limited use only. However, I have had great success buying or renting lists from industry publications because their subscriber list is up to date. In the future, you may want to try respected trade periodicals like “Architects With No Brains Digest” or the popular “Morons Weekly.” Here you can find a very specific population of US subscribers who, I bet, would be very interested in your situation.

I’ve put up some tightwads who avoid buying lists altogether. They find that after spending $5,000 or $10,000 and throwing away 50 percent of the data, they spend even more time cleaning up what’s left.

I spoke to one such penny saver, a friend of mine in Kenya, who said that when he emails Americans asking to transfer his millions of dollars, he pays high school students an hourly wage to dig up names off the net.

“Sure, my list of dumb Americans is smaller than if we bought a list,” he said. “But my high school students are pretty good at finding chumps and idiots from their country on online sites. And at the hourly wage I pay them, I get much better bang for the buck.”

He and I always make fun of each other; I like to make fun of his country’s soccer team. He makes jokes about the entire adult population of my country. Oh, we just laugh and laugh.

But enough jokes. Mr. Muhammadu, I realize that he is trying to transfer a large amount of money out of his country before he loses it. You need our help. If anyone can help, please contact them and have your personal credit and banking information handy so they can do so quickly. Let someone introduce themselves and live up to the reputation we Americans have in Nigeria, Kenya, and the rest of the world.