Behavior Charts: 7 Tips Parents Should Know When Using Behavior Charts
Behavior charts are a mystery to many parents. But they can also be very effective when used correctly. These 7 tips will help you make better use of behavior charts to make your kids happier and better behaved.
Tip #1: Use a single measurable goal.
If the behaviors you want your child to start doing are not measurable, then how will you (or your child) know when the behavior has changed?
Look for measurable goals that you can see with your eyes like: make your bed every morning. Do your homework before watching TV. Take out the trash.
Tip #2: Express your desired results in positive language.
Instead of focusing on what you want your child to stop doing, focus on what you want them to start doing.
Say “Put the dishes in the sink” instead of “Stop leaving dishes in the house.” This small distinction will make a big difference.
Tip #3: Start with small expectations.
If your child has been misbehaving or not doing homework for several weeks, months, or even years, remember… old habits are hard to break.
Don’t expect her to become your version of a perfect girl overnight. Focus on one specific action that you would like her to start doing and stick with that goal until she reaches it. Think in small steps and focus on one behavior change at a time.
Tip #4: Involve your children in choosing rewards.
Your child is not going to respond to the behavior chart if they don’t enjoy or like the reward. Think about it. Would you like to go to work if you were paid in peanuts? It might work for an elephant, but not for you.
When your child participates in selecting the reward you’re working toward (and agrees with it!), they’ll be more willing to participate in using the chart.
Tip #5: Be patient.
Even if the behavior changes overnight, you should give it some time to become a new habit. Don’t stop using the chart just because your child has made the bed 7 days in a row.
Continue to use the chart for at least a month on the same behavior to ensure the new behavior is firmly in place. As your child improves, they may experience some “gains” toward their goal and that will feel great.
Tip #6: Watch your own stress levels.
If you expect your children to behave well, you need to be a role model. If you deal with his tantrums and defiant behavior with your own brand of tantrums, things will escalate…quickly.
Find out what keeps you calm and focused so you can be available for whatever happens while your child learns to respect himself and the behavior chart system.
Tip #7: Be consistent.
Behavior charts don’t work on their own. They are driven by responsible parents who act as the backbone of the entire process. Consistency will help build trust between you and your child and allow your child to feel comfortable trusting the process of using the charts.
If you say you’re going to use the chart daily, do so. If you tell your child that they can invite a friend over for the night as a reward for filling out their weekly chart, by all means, throw the sleepover.
When in doubt, put yourself in their shoes: If your boss tells you that you’re going to get paid on Friday and then Friday comes along and says, “No, there’s no paycheck for you,” you’d start to lose respect for your boss. and your work.
Being consistent can be hard, but if you can manage it, you’ll find much more success with behavior charts.